Losing my parents is the most painful experiences I’ve endured. It’s often said, “you don’t know what you have until you lose it,” this is especially true with your parents.
My mom passed in late 2009, and even though her health was poor, we were surprised with her passing. She didn’t have any arrangements, any money, or any wishes recorded and she left belongings without instructions as to who should receive them. We, the family, stepped in and did our best with what we thought she would want, but it was difficult; each family member had a different opinion as to what she wanted, and it caused significant tension in the family.
In 2010, my step-mother passed, a year prior, she received a cancer diagnosis. She promptly updated her will and planned her memorial. She even began preparing arrangements for my dad. When she finally passed, her affairs were in order. The pastor read her parting words, and we laid her to rest.
My step-mother’s funeral was well planned: She pre-arranged everything from the songs to the words spoken at her funeral. We mourned her passing and enjoyed her final message. Afterward, the family came together and recalled the good times.
Immediately, after my mother passed, I didn’t believe it. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking, “Are you sure she’s gone? Could this be a mistake?” I found myself putting together her arrangements, facing this truth so soon, was almost unbearable.
Time and space are critical to accepting a loss.
This experience left me feeling the greatest gift I can bestow is having my affairs in order when the time arrives.